You Like Hot Chicks

I tried to give you a greater diversity of images to accompany my linguistic brilliance, but no, you want what you want. What you want is hot women doing salacious things. I get it. What you don't want are hot guys with sizable packages. I understand.

I'm not typically a people pleaser. In fact, I get off fucking with people, even insulting them at times. I like to shock, make people squirm, make them uncomfortable. But not always. Sometimes I want to hug people, caress their soft or hard bellies, run my fingers through hair ... not necessarily the hair on their heads. I don't need you to get a Brazilian wax for me. I like your pubes.

I'll give you a brumsky between your cheeks. I'll cup your balls, I'll finger your pussy. I'm not particular. I like all of you and I want you to take off all your clothes and run naked through the streets. Wherever you're at, strip now, and run to my place. We'll have an orgy, Anti-Dada style. Wine and dildos, body paints and candle wax, whips and chains, shrooms and blow, fat and old, young and sexy. We'll film it all and I'll do a play-by-play commentary. I'll take each one of you aside and ask you to tell me what turns you on and what doesn't. I'll make sure you get what you want.

And what you don't!

But, see, some of my readers may be women and bisexual and gay men. I have to throw them a bone. I don't mean sexually, although I can make that happen. No, I mean an image of a guy in a provocative position. But maybe I've been misreading what women and men want in a guy. I'd been thinking they wanted some hot pinup model but maybe they like a more "normal" guy.

or even a guy who doesn't fit any of the Hollywood stereotypes of attractiveness.

I got it right with the women, though. The numbers don't lie. Pageviews. I don't know who any of you are, your sexual orientation or gender identities, or anything else that's personal about you. I know that I have viewers from all over the world: Russia, France, Germany, Poland, Malaysia, Romania, United Kingdom, Brazil, Ireland, Spain, Italy, Canada, Mexico, Netherlands, Belgium, China, India, Turkey, Australia, and more. That's why I put the Translation bar at the top, just in case some readers would rather read in a language other than English. My largest audience is from the United States, but I hope to one day change that. But what really get me is that I have no views from the Middle East or Africa. I don't know what that means. It probably doesn't "mean" a damn thing. I'd really like to get more viewers from Yemen, though. It has nothing to do with Islam or anything like that. It's just a fetish I have for Yemen.

I think about Yemen a lot. I think it's because it rhymes with women. I imagine Yemen rubbing hot cocoa butter all over her bronzed naked body, blowing kisses at me, inviting me over to her apartment to watch her masturbate in candlelight, always teasing me, telling me she wants me inside her, but no, not yet, not while she's engaged in solo foreplay. But she just plays with herself for days and weeks and months and I'm going crazy because I desperately want to eat Yemen's pussy and fuck her until I die. But she won't let me touch her. It's madness ... I love it.

What I'd really like is if all the readers of Anti-Dada formed a religion, a religion in which no two individuals share the same beliefs. Every person believes something radically different from every other person and it's this difference in beliefs that unites all of you together. In fact, I'd like it if you'd shun anyone who believes the same thing you believe. "What, you believe the Cloud Monster created the Universe? So do I, you bastard! There's only room for one of us here!" Then there'd be a duel, each of you with your backs to one another, walking away from one another for ten paces, turning, and then masturbating furiously. Whoever cums first, man or woman, gets to hold that belief while the loser has to become your sex slave and believe nothing but what you tell him or her to believe. That can change at your whim, too. You can tell her to believe that giant cocks from outerspace colonized the earth one minute and then tell him that pebbles hold the secrets to the origin of life. It's up to you. I mean, s/he is your sex slave.

Well, I think I've effectively covered everything of import within this post. If anything else comes up that needs to be addressed, I will let you know. I always keep my readers informed about what is important in life. That's my lot in life. I'm not complaining. I enjoy tickling you ... I'd just like to fuck more of you at an orgy sometime. I have goals, you know?