You know those “Dole” stickers on bananas and other fruits? They’re actually patches to help them quit using pesticides. So when you’re picking out fruits, those without patches have never had a “pesticide addiction” whereas the others have. “Well, I don’t want to be prejudiced so I’m going to eat the banana that has lung cancer.”
Meanwhile, Dole is developing vitamin patches for humans who have quit eating fruits and vegetables. Transdermal delivery of nutrients, it is believed, is superior to ingesting vitamins and minerals in pill form. Some guy in marketing thought of that. It’s coming. You’ll see.
Fashion trends often portray shifting signs of status. It will not be long until dried and preserved body parts—human and animal—will be worn in various ways to denote social standing or cultural significance. In the beginning, the practice may be quite simple.Men advertising large penises will pay top dollar for the cock of a horse to dangle from a belt tied around their waist. Of course not everyone will be in favor of such public sexual displays and religiously zealous types may wrap their daughters’ mid-sections with interlocking human rib cages, as a sign of both chastity and virginity.
In New York, women wearing the long finger bones of famous dead pianists will be one example of a person who comes from high society, always carrying in her purse a certificate of DNA authenticity for each phalange. On Wall Street, men will pay top dollar for the largest manes from dead lions. Clothing drives for the poor will likely give away rat skins sewn together by nuns as a means to help the homeless stay warm during the coldest months.
In Sweden and other northern European countries, the trend may begin with everyone wearing otter tails of the exact same length so as to not make anyone feel inferior or superior to others. Among indigenous tribes still practicing their ancient traditions … not much will be different. In China, wearing large bellies of various mammals and humans will come to be seen as signs of prosperity, good fortune, and health. The larger the belly, the greater the status. In small villages, the largest pig belly may be worn by elders or traditional leaders. In the largest metropolitan areas such as Beijing and Shanghai, a variety of huge bellies, some even larger than the person, may be worn as individuals move about the city, commuting to their various jobs, roles, and responsibilities: rhino stomachs, hippo stomachs, elephant stomachs, and the like will undoubtedly catch the eye of many and lead to spontaneous genuflections among the masses nearby, those wearing such modest bellies as sheep, cows, and even giraffes.
But the most prized bellies in China and southeast Asia will be those of deceased fat men or women from the Western world. For a time, this will lead to a black market killing epidemic of those with obesity in Western hemisphere. Terrorism will become a worry of the past as a result. However, this practice will also lead to major lifestyle changes in relation to eating and exercise in the New World. Companies like McDonald’s, Burger King, and Arby’s will go out of business and foods such as ice cream and donuts will become nearly extinct. As a means to counteract this problem, Americans, Canadians, and Europeans will face a wave of kidnappings where both young and old are taken to underground bunkers where they are force fed lard like geese as if to make foie gras, but with doctors trained to keep them alive as long as possible. Once it becomes known that there are few if any naturally occurring obese people in the West, however, the fad for obese human bellies in Southeast Asia will fade.
In Japan, men and women will wear suits of whale blubber covering them from head to toe, using snorkels to breathe. As moving independently will become impossible, robots will roll them around the cities and other technological developments will help them communicate with one another. In the Middle East, men will cover their bodies with the beards of other men they slay. Women, meanwhile, … well, it won’t really be known what animal or human parts women are wearing because they’ll still be covered head-to-toe with cloth.
As these customs continue to change and develop from country to country, new forms of societal hierarchies may form, including changes in economic and government structures. In the U.S., decision makers deciding on forms of socially acceptable things to say among various peoples will wear the jawbone of an ass around their necks. They will gather annually in abandoned badger dens to decide who can say what with impunity.
As a means of appeasing racial and sexual tensions and divides, the jawbone men and women, made up of all races, ethnicities, genders, and religious creeds, will provide each person of a particular race, religion, gender, etc., certain words which had become disparaging and offensive to certain groups. White people, for example, will be allowed to say “nigger” without consequence. However, they will be the only people allowed to say the word as even black people will be forbidden from uttering it—not by penalty of law, but by social ostracism and the probability of losing jobs, scholarships, etc. Black people will be the only group who can say the words “spic,” “wetback,” and “beaner.” Men will be allowed to say “cunt”; women will be the only group allowed to say “whore,” “pussy,” “dickless wonder,” and “you throw like a girl.” Hispanics will have exclusive rights to “queer,” “faggot,” and “dyke.” Lesbians, gay men, and transgendered peoples will have the rights to “chinks,” “Injuns,” “guineas,” “Pollocks,” and “whitey.” Asians will have “breeders,” “Nazis,” “junkies,” and “kikes.” Jews will be given “cocksucker,” “bitch,” “motherfucker,” and “cracker.” Protestants will be allowed to say “fascist,” Catholics to say “commie,” Muslims to say “retard,” Hindus to say “towelhead,” and Buddhists will have the right to remain silent. There will likely be others, but this should provide a hint of what is to come.
Those wearing jawbones of asses will come to be hated by all as they will, in time, exempt themselves from being called anything derogatory. At that point, a social revolt will occur in which all races, ethnicities, genders, and creeds will unite to use all of their worst words against the jawboned causing them to wilt under the pressure of hateful language and cry for a day. After that, everyone will realize that they have taken the first step toward utopia. All animal and human body parts will be shed and this practice will spread globally from the United States around the world culminating in a full day of universal orgiastic sex. What happens beyond that is anyone’s guess.
