The Joy of Thought

I've been thinking about my life and because I do not experience my life independently of space and time I have come to the definitive conclusion that my self does not end at my skin. I've been saying this in myriad ways for years but I realize I've never been entirely clear. Nor have I given it proper thought in a way that is reflective of my experience. The challenge is to use words in an order directing you to think in a way that allows you to consciously experience what I experience while exploring thought. Once thought processes begin, though, they may find other thoughts more interesting than those I intend to convey.

Do you know the reason why humans can beat computers in chess most of the time? Because while there may be a factor between 10⁴³ and 10⁵⁰ for possible legal moves on a chess board, the combination of "legal" thoughts a human can use is infinite—or, at the least, immeasurable. The "legal" combination of words in the English language may be infinite as well. Still, even if thought is infinite it is only infinite within itself and the "location" of this infinity exists within a consciousness capable of thinking an infinity of possible thoughts.

If I was asked if I could live forever would I answer "Yes"? Yes. The way I experience thought is often curvilinar rather than linear. I declare this partially to point out that I do not think of my past as a timeline in a history book nor do I think of the future as tomorrow. I sense my thought as a spiraling outward expansion from an originating thought. If I existed eternally my thought might orbit its origin elliptically at differing angles in such a way that the ellipses might eventually extend so far from the core that it loses gravity and eventually drifts aimlessly through the space of the universe of mind until possibly being brought into the orbit of a distant star billions of years in the future.

I do not think exclusively in that way. I also use a progression of thought. A progression can bring to mind a linear, two dimensional path or, if three dimensional, allowing about as much freedom to change directions up, down, sideways, or backward as an interstate highway. To limit thought to a singular path on a line that allows no decisions to be made? As if thought could possibly be happiest if it progressed like a can of soup on an assembly line without any possibility of flying out the window at the speed of light throughout the galaxy and beyond, within the infinite smallness of any location of thought, or into a black hole of thought so dense that it sucks all surrounding thoughts into an absolute absence of thought. Progressive thought has its uses as a practical tool that can solve particular types of problems, but it will never be a primary mode of thinking because its applications are so limited.

Thought has infinite potential to direct itself anywhere. It can be directed in an outwardly-expanding ellipsis, a quark popping in and out of existence anywhere within the universe of possible thoughts, a laser creating its own wormholes to disappear from one arena of thought (existentialism) to another (postmodernism) to another (literary theory) to another (sexuality) and on and on, an infinity of arenas, none of them isolated from others. There are possibly infinite thought processes, like elliptical thinking or linear thought or comparative thinking or stream-of-consciousness thought or analytical thought or poetic thought, each thought process encompassing an infinity of possibilities within themselves.

So, yes, if I could live forever I would. Of course. I won't. But thoughts about the end of consciousness are a waste of awareness, an unnecessary narrowing of attention on one matter that seems of no more consequence than any other matter that hasn't yet occurred. It's useful to think about only to the degree that it leads to the expansion of consciousness into new forms of thought or the further mastery of practiced ways of thought.

In the same vein, the only reason to think about systems is to determine whether thinking about them improves the experience of living. If it is decided that thinking using a particular type of logic is the best way to think about x, y, or z to achieve a particular outcome then that type of logical thinking will likely be used for that purpose. If logic isn’t working as expected then thinking about the type of thought being used might be reconsidered: maybe I should try using comparative thinking instead.

There’s always the question of what type of thinking is best to make such decisions. What sort of thinking process is best for figuring out what type of thinking to use for such-and-such versus this-and-that? What sort of thinking process is best for thinking about the thinking process that might be best for such-and-such versus this-and-that? And so on. To remain trapped in a depression, for instance, is as often as not the result of not being able to change thought processes. That is why remaining aware of thinking is critical to determining the degree to which one's thought capacity develops and one's experience of living improves.

The decision to move from point A to point B over a matter of minutes while walking can be of critical importance in determining the course of one's life and the potential "moves" one can make at any moment. Where are you on the chess board of life? Is your king being cornered? Are you about to take a queen off the board? Did you just get a new job? Did you fall and break your leg? The possibilities for the moves you can make for your body and mind in the future will be determined by experiences such as these.

What occurs if you continue to add layer after layer after layer of parallel processing over time? If you're able to consciously think about multiple things in multiple ways each moment then you increase the possibilities of the potential decisions you can make each moment. That describes only one thing that can be done within these infinite universes of thinking. To break a leg, while unfortunate, doesn't necessarily mean “all is lost and now my future possibilities suck because they aren't going to be what I expected them to be.” You might think that, though, because you were preparing to run a marathon the next day. Now you can't. A depression could easily settle in if you focus on the time you’d “lost.” But it is also true that new possibilities are now available. The question is whether you are able, willing, and know how to change your thought processes.

What seems to be happening at times within the minds of some individuals I meet is that they focus attention on a narrow range of possibilities, akin to putting all of one's eggs in one basket. If your basket breaks and you've only got that one basket then "all is lost." But if a person thinks in terms of having at their disposal a potential infinity of thought processes and an infinity of possible thoughts within each thought process then, in a sense, nothing can ever be lost because other thoughts and modes of thoughts are at the ready. If the process of being is valued more than outcomes of being then the mere continuation of existence in any form is fulfilling on at least that level so, again, nothing of relevance is lost. One can remain fulfilled at all times by valuing existence itself more than any particular form of existence.

Is the creation of such a value the best possible thing to do? How would I be able to determine that? What thought processes might be required to figure that out? There are infinite possible answers to those questions. Thinking is a joy unto itself.