Mole People: Counterpoint

I completely disagree with my esteemed colleague on the issue of the Mole People. The Mole People are sincere and gentle, loving souls, our brothers, one hundred percent homo sapiens sapiens. It is a vile, hostile, divisive, fear-mongering, hateful, malicious, vicious, and cruel myth that the Mole People are not human, not the same species as “us.” This is hogwash. The Mole People are simply people who have facial structures that resemble those of moles. The thick coat of fur is another environmental adaptation that brings to mind a number of furry burrowers. However, these people share the same DNA and are as human as any of us.

Yes, it is true that they live underground. However, that’s just a consequence of their being ostracized over millennia. They formed vast underground communities and a global tunnel infrastructure over thousands of years. Their technology actually exceeds ours. But, I want to clarify, that when I say “they” I am referring to the fact that these people have developed a vastly different culture than we have. In no way am I categorizing them as a different species. Do they have a different appearance? Yes. Do they have a different genetic makeup? No.

The fact that top secret programs from military and intelligence agencies in the U.S. government, the former Soviet government, the members of NATO, Japan, and China have had contact with the Mole People during the Cold War era does not help matters. There is a fierce sense of betrayal that such a profound discovery was kept secret for decades! We’re just now hearing about the Mole People in the last year or so after sixty years of secret intergovernmental knowledge.

But that’s neither here nor there in this case. The point I’m trying to make is that the Mole People deserve our respect. They seem to genuinely want to work with us to help us. They seem to have developed a very creative and harmonious culture. Some oddities from our perspective, yes, but that’s understandable. My colleague mentioned a few of those differences in a disparaging manner, but there’s much to recommend their rituals and norms, quirky or unusual or off-putting as they may seem at first glance. I find the practice of publicly deflowering virgins to be less spectacular than most. Sure, it’s a bit much when the young woman is unwilling, but who are we to judge their culture? I mean, it would be a very individualist-oriented thinking that would put the woman above a tradition dating thousands of years. Removing such rituals from the lives of the Mole People could result in a loss of faith, a lack of meaning, a sense of despair, the first step toward suicidal and perhaps even homicidal nihilism. Toleration of other religious and cultural practices is essential if we are to move forward into the new millennium without never-ending war. If coercing unwilling virgins to copulate is the compromise that needs to be made then so be it. We have to be realistic and look at the long view.

It’s like U.S. trade with China. Should the U.S. wait until China adopts human rights protections to allow businesses to trade with them, to allow goods manufactured in China to be imported into the United States and sold to American consumers? Whether we should or not, we do. Is it right? No, how could it be? But it is politically and economically practical in the short-run and the thinking is that political reforms will come naturally as China’s economics and politics continue to evolve over time. As the economics and culture changes, the people’s demands will change. China's citizens may become more aggressive over time in demanding Western-style freedoms and rights to go along with the growing Western-style consumer culture. The same holds true for the Mole People!

Regardless, don’t blame the Mole People. No, blame the people who drove the people who eventually became the Mole People underground. Yes, blame the people from thousands of years ago. Blame them even though they’re dead. Those are the people who caused all of our current problems. So, let’s stop this inane talk, drink some beer, and have a laugh, okay?