When Harold came out of his meditative trance he was staring at his face. His voice said to him, “Welcome back, Harold. How do you feel?” Harold assessed his feeling. He felt … different. He didn’t know how to describe how he felt because he was experiencing feelings and emotions he never had previously. Even his thoughts seemed different; they had a different flavor and Harold was surprised that he thought of his thoughts as having flavors and scents. Harold felt he was himself and, yet, not at all “Harold” as he had remembered himself being.
Harold said, “I don’t know how I feel.” He was shocked by the sound of his voice. It was mellifluous. He thought to himself, “I never describe anything as ‘mellifluous.’” Even his inner voice was honeyed, sweet and as thick as maple syrup. His thought was strong but flexible, imbued with dexterity and clarity. “I feel fresh, renewed, more than who I used to be. What happened?”
He looked at himself and his old voice said, “You picked up the hose and inhaled at the same time I did. Your consciousness is in my body and mine is in yours.”
Harold asked, “You're Arab Jesus?”
Harold heard Arab Jesus laugh through his old mouth. The sound was different than he remembered. It was crude, but its sincerity gave it a beauty it otherwise would have lacked. He looked into his eyes—now the eyes of Arab Jesus—and saw them dancing. He doubted his eyes had ever danced like that when his consciousness occupied that body. The way Arab Jesus was looking at him made him feel—what was the sensation? Aroused? He said, “I think I’m feeling aroused, but it’s so different than how I used to experience it. It’s more,” he paused to think of the right words, “full-bodied. I want to devour you and be ravaged by you … at the same time.”
Arab Jesus said, “I remember that feeling. I admit, my previous body is incredibly sexy and it is really jacking up the hormones. It’s hard to think about anything but kissing you right now.”
Now Harold was getting really turned on. He could feel a sensation in his loins, a tingling. He also noticed that his crotch was moist. He momentarily wondered if he should refer to himself as herself. He said, with more than a little heat in his voice, “Should I still call myself Harold and you Arab Jesus?”
“Call me Ari and I’ll call you … hmmm … I still like Harold, if that’s okay.”
“Yes, I think it’ll make it easier for now. Still, I feel like a woman.” Harold looked down at his body. He saw his breasts jutting outward, heaving up and down with his breath. This turned him on even more. He moved his arms, the sensation like magic, his muscles sinnowy, light, and graceful. His fingers were long and thin and they moved delicately. He brought both hands to his breasts and cupped them, squeezed them. Harold gasped in delight. “Oh my Godddddd! Hooouuuhhh, that’s, wow, wow.” His breathing was more rapid now. He could feel his face flush with a rush of blood.
Ari, meanwhile, was watching Harold and becoming more aroused as well. She felt, for the first time, the growth of an erection. She let out a gasp and said, “Dear Lord, that’s such a powerful sensation. Whew, having a penis with such intense hormones, wow, no wonder guys can barely contain themselves when they get turned on. I can barely think, it’s just pure emotion and it’s really aggressive. It’s hunger. Wow!”
Harold heard these words while exploring more of his own body. He moved his hands to his legs and felt the skin of his thighs. The skin was smooth and silky to the touch. It tempered the heat of his passion, created a more sensuous feeling. His thoughts were mingling with his emotions, dancing together in a romantic embrace. Harold audibly sighed as he brought his left hand up to stroke his neck as he leaned his head back. Harold realized that as excited as he was by his old body and Ari’s use of it as well as her words and actions, he didn’t need his old body or Ari to feel incredible sexual pleasure. He was experiencing, in just a matter of minutes, more complex emotions and sensations than he'd ever had in his own body.
“Being a woman is way better than being a man! My God, I’m overwhelmed by the totality of what I’m experiencing. I can tell, too, that I’m just tickling the surface of what I can feel. It’s the whole body, every part of it unified in a whole, a rippling wave of sensation that shifts each moment. The richness of being a woman is unlike anything I ever imagined. If women only knew how much better they had it than men.”
Ari said to Harold, “I think I know what you mean, but there’s something to be said for the intensity of this singularity. Everything, everything, disappears except for the cock. Once it becomes hard there’s nothing else that exists. ‘I am cock.’ That’s what it feels like. I can’t even tell if my words are coherent and, honestly, I don’t even care. I just want to fuck you!”
Harold was somewhat rattled from his reverie. Not entirely, but when Ari bellowed “I just want to fuck you,” he felt a little threatened. Aroused, too, in a different way than he had been earlier. It was a strange mix of emotions and concepts. The force with which Ari spoke, that booming voice, gave Harold a chill and seemed to evoke a flight or fight response. But there was such a sophistication of emotional complexity that the response was easily filtered. Harold understood, a little more, how ‘manliness’ could be an aphrodisiac. To be wanted like that, to be hungered for, to see a man practically helpless with desire, well, he felt powerful in a far less brute way. He realized how easy it would be to manipulate Ari given her ‘sexual condition.’ He could feel his pussy becoming wet, soaking his underwear. It was as if the power he felt by being wanted so desperately was an even greater turn-on than Ari's body.
Strangely, though, Harold did want Ari’s cock—the cock that used to be his! Part of Harold recoiled, but that quickly subsided. He had a woman’s hormones and he was either heterosexual or bisexual. His old thoughts were not really present any more; they had been integrated into the thoughts, emotions, and sensations of this new body. He also realized that it was Ari in his old body and the idea of having sex with her, no matter what body she occupied, was hot. Harold found it interesting how much more he was attracted to identity than to body. Both were present, but in his experience as a man he had mostly been turned on by women’s faces and bodies. Yes, to some degree their personality, but that had more to do with emotional intimacy than physical sexuality. Harold realized there truly were radical differences in sexuality between men and women. He experienced a moment of reverence when he became more fully aware that he was experiencing what it was like to be a woman after having been a man his whole life. No one of today could say such a thing, but yesterday was proving to offer opportunities that today could only dream possible.
Ari asked Harold, “Do you mind if I remove my robe? I want to feel my new body, especially my cock. I can understand why guys don’t refer to it as a penis. It feels like a cock way more than a penis. ‘Penis’ is such a weak word to describe something with this much force. This thing just dominates when it gets hard. Nothing else can compete with it. It’s amazing! I’m in awe of it. I have to see it, Harold. I hope you don’t mind.”
As Ari disrobed, Harold moved his arms behind him and propped himself up on his hands. He tilted his head and felt a wry, sexy smile form on his face. The smile alone felt erotic to Harold—he was shocked at how easily his own body aroused itself. He looked at Ari standing, admiring her new cock. She moved her hands over her chest, felt her biceps, and then slid them down her stomach to her crotch, probing through pubic hair, and then reaching the base of her cock. She stopped there, leaned her head back, and moaned. Her right hand slid along the shaft and gripped around the head. She throttled her head forward and thrust her hips outward, looking down into Harold's eyes, her own eyes wild and her mouth agape. She gasped and yelled, “Holy fuck, Harold! Wow, oh wow, oh wow, oh wow.” She moved her hand back down the shaft and then back up, slowly at first, but then her pace increased. She was gasping and moaning.
Harold quickly got up and walked over to her. He placed his hands on hers and pulled them away. Harold said, “Hold on, you’re going to cum before you’ve really explored at all. I know the urge is insatiable and you’re experiencing your first erection, but you’ll be much more satisfied if you wait. Believe me, the pain of withholding is a pleasure in itself. Trust me, it took a long time to be able to resist the urge to just abandon myself to my cock, but learning how to control the urges and take control of your sexuality as a man is worth it. It’s probably the most difficult thing a man has to learn in life. But if you want to develop a richer sexual life as a man it’s wise to learn this practice. Plus, it’ll keep you from fumbling all over yourself when you’re in the presence of a woman.”
Ari looked at Harold with a mixture of anger and gratitude. Harold told Ari, “Be patient and I’ll make sure you feel good.” Harold smiled coyly at Ari and she appeared to melt.
“My God, Harold, you’ve become a woman so fast. I remember feeling the way you are, the subtleties and richness of the sexual dance. It’s intoxicating from this point of view. You own me right now.”
Ari put her hand on Harold’s breast and tenderly squeezed it. Harold let out a low sigh. Harold thought, “God, that feels good! Wow, I think I need to take off my clothes as well. I want to explore this body. I’m sure Ari will enjoy watching.
Before Harold could get a word out, though, Ari said, “Isn’t it interesting that sexuality is the first thing that jumps out at us when we switched consciousness? It makes sense. It reminds me how much more important the body is than we assume. We get so used to being in the same body that we take it for granted and get lost in thought. The newness of emotions and sensations in a different body highlights just how physical we really are.”
Harold looked down at Ari’s cock and noticed it was shrinking into a penis. He said to Ari, “It’s also interesting that you went limp as soon as you made an intellectual observation.”
Ari looked down at her penis and laughed. “You’re right! How weird! Huh, for a man the correlation between intellectualism and sexuality is polar. I can tell you from experience that the same isn’t true for women.”
Harold considered this and focused on his body. Ari was right. Harold still felt aroused, but more softly sensual. Harold found the range of erotic emotions and sensations of a woman absolutely remarkable. If he wasn’t occupying Ari’s body he’d have been jealous. For the first time, he wondered if he’d want to return to his own body. Why give up this?! There was no question that he didn’t need Ari for sexual gratification. The only thing Ari—or any man—provided was a wider range of sexual sensations and experiences. There was something to be said for that, but Harold realized he could have an amazing sex life as a woman while remaining celibate.
He said to Ari, “I want to take off my clothes, too, explore my body—and get you turned on again!” Harold noticed that Ari’s member flinched from that statement. He laughed as he remembered experiencing the same thing thousands of times. A woman saying something even remotely provocative had had that effect on him. Harold continued, “But before I do I want to say something and ask you something. I’m noticing that I could be perfectly happy sexually on my own. That’s radically different than my experience of sexuality as a man. I’m also aroused by the idea of pleasing you sexually. There’s something about your hunger for me that excites me. I don’t need you, but I want to be ravaged by you, partly for me and partly for the pleasure of making you happy. I’m realizing just how much more power I have as a woman in the sexual dynamic with you as a man. Did you experience anything similar as a woman?”
Ari rolled her eyes and sighed. “Yes. Fuck! I completely forgot about that. Once the cock becomes engorged I can’t think straight. My thoughts become a jumble and I can’t remember anything. My thoughts have been very strange since occupying your body. I hate to say this, but I feel relatively stupid and simple-minded by comparison. But, yes, I do remember feeling variations of what you are describing. You are barely even scratching the surface of female sexuality.”
“Sadly, Ari, I think you’re experiencing much of what passes as male sexuality. Not all, believe me; there is more complexity than you’re currently experiencing. But compared to a woman, now that I’m experiencing life in this body, men are simple in terms of sexual emotional complexity. You’re right about thought, too. It seems to me that the richness of emotional experience that comes from the complexity of sensuality layers thought in a way men can’t experience. I haven’t even explored my pussy yet! I can feel my clitoris throbbing and it’s amazing!” Harold bent his knees as he emphasized the word. “Having erotic sensations within me instead of protruding from me? God, I love the vagina. When it gets wet it’s just … the sensation is so different from the clit and the pussy lips, but all of them, all together make up a tapestry of eroticism that men will only ever be able to imagine. It’s probably for the best. If men knew what they were missing they’d spend their lives in tears. Honestly, Ari, I’m sorry you’re having to experience sexuality as a man after being a woman.”
Ari responded, “Don’t say that, Harold. You’re mostly right, but I have never experienced the totality of sensation emanating from a single part of my body like this. It’s mind-blowing! I’m not really complaining about not being able to think straight; believe me, there’s something special about being so overwhelmed by such an intensely powerful sexual drive. It’s ridiculous! Yes, I can see how it’s a suffering in a way, but I have a feeling that when satisfied, when I have my cock inside you, that I’m going to feel sooooooo good that I won’t remember anything about how it felt to be a woman.”
Harold thought that was an interesting perspective. “Maybe it’s a case of the grass is always greener or simply the newness of our respective sexualities,” thought Harold. He wondered, though. He had little doubt that the sexuality of women was exponentially more rewarding. Experiencing life in a woman’s body was breathtaking. There was no question in Harold’s mind that women experience a far more gratifying sexual life than men.
Of course, there were issues like rape and societal restrictions and norms that harmed and handcuffed women. There was also the biological reality of menstruation and childbirth. Harold wondered how awful it might be to have a period. He had no idea and, to a degree, he didn’t want to find out. Still, if what he was experiencing was the peak of womanhood he should also experience its valleys as well. He wanted a clear picture of what it was like, overall, to be a woman.
While Harold had been thinking those things, Ari had been fondling herself, looking down at her cock as it once again grew hard. Harold had been drawn out of his thoughtful considerations when Ari looked up at him with pure lust in her eyes.
“Harold?”
“Yes?” Harold felt uneasy, more than a little vulnerable. That look, oh my, that was a look. Frightening and exhilarating. If Harold hadn’t been aware that Ari inhabited that body, he would have likely been terrified. Because it was Ari, though, he felt himself becoming much more turned on. His feelings of sensuality had diminished somewhat, but now a more brute form of sexuality was arising. Harold found it fascinating because it reminded him somewhat of male sexual intensity. His thoughts were becoming single-minded. It was as if Ari’s lustful glare had unlocked a chamber he hadn’t realized was there. So, women can be seduced by men! Harold felt the power shift and he noticed that these new feelings were just as erotic but vastly different. Harold said aloud, “Wow.”
Ari grinned with deviant pleasure, her eyes bouncing around, taking in Harold’s body piece by piece. “You want your clothes off, right? Then let me undress you.” Ari walked around the hookah and up to Harold. Her face was close to his. Harold could smell her breath. The scent was surprisingly sweet. Perhaps the aftertaste of the waxy substance they’d inhaled was lingering.
Ari slowly wrapped her arms around Harold and began pulling down her top with one hand and her bottom with the other. She momentarily stopped, her lips not an inch away from Harold’s, her eyes penetrating deep into his. “I used to live in that body and I know exactly when, where, and how to touch you. We’re going to ascend to heaven and then I’m going to take you a little higher."
Harold felt woozy, absolutely entranced. "I want you, Ari, I want you."
…
Damnit! That's a shitty place to stop. Now I'm going to have to take a cold shower.
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