Scattershot Randomball

Scattershot randomball. No painting. Until there were painters there. Then we were all painting. I painted jasper whispers dancing on fig leaves in between bolts of melting sun rays. Horace painted fragrances and allowances for dallying. Potato mashing and skull scraping was the subject of a joint work by Alice and Groozy. Everyone came to life, though, when they saw the golden chalice cascading goodness from the painting of Maya Belisweather. The room smelled of dandelions and ripened mangoes.

Why don’t we have a party? asked Philip.

Of course! shouted the rest of us in unison.

So we threw a party. There was food and wine and dildos. Several guests fucked on a 120 x 180 canvas. I splashed oil paints on them now and then so they could leave a representation of their pleasure for us. I drank a wonderful cabernet while watching Alice and Groozy grind crimson and lime green paint into the canvas. Debbie and Horace were creating streaks of burnt umber and metallic rusted orange several feet away. All together, we created a divine work. I may exhibit it in my bathroom early next month. Or I’ll use it for wiping my ass … then exhibit it in my bathroom. Yup.

On the way to Mr. Lollipop’s Shop, Fred and I stopped at Kate’s to have a spin at Warble Dither. Kate didn’t answer when we knocked so we let ourselves inside. That was perhaps a bit presumptuous of us. Jeni, Kate’s older sister, was lying naked on the couch fingering herself while pumping a dildo in and out of her ass. She was writhing and moaning and her eyes were closed so she didn’t see us come in at all. I turned to look at Fred and saw his jaw dangling, his eyes bugging out of his head, and drool dripping from his chin that … was … just … about … to … YES! There it went. He kept on staring, though. Jeni, meanwhile, was getting louder and louder until Kate, naked as a jay bird herself, came running out into the living room yelling “You gotta hurry up cause J. D. and Fred are gonna be here any—”

That’s when Kate saw Fred. I had never seen honey-white skin turn hot pink so quickly in my life. Oh, but it gets worse. Much worse. Fred had unzipped his fly, fished his cock out of his pants, and was furiously pounding his pecker. He didn’t even realize Kate was in the room. So Jeni’s oblivious of everyone, Fred’s oblivious of everyone but Jeni, Kate’s aware of everyone but me, and I’m aware of everyone. When Kate realized Fred hadn’t seen her, she turned back to look at Jeni. Then she looked back at Fred. Then she started fingering herself! Just as Kate started to warm up and groan, Jeni opened her eyes. She was having an orgasm judging by the pitched squeal of her shrieking.

The look on her face was like none I’d ever seen before and perhaps never will again. She was in acute ecstasy yet extreme shock while also being utterly humiliated. All of which, taken together, was extraordinarily hot. Fred, apparently feeling the same way, blew his load in the general direction of Jeni, the farthest reach of which landed several feet short of the couch. I noticed just how dingy the beige carpet was after seeing Fred’s stringy white glob of goo contrasted against it.

Kate, unbeknownst to me, noticed me while I was admiring the gooey addition to the room. Apparently caught up in the spirit of the moment, she marched over to me and grabbed my cock through my jeans. Some girls might have been more discrete, perhaps even stealthily disappearing from the room as unnoticeably as possible. Kate? When she wanted to fuck, she wanted to fuck. So we fucked.

When we’d all come and had our fill we showered together and got dressed before hailing a cab and heading to Mozelly’s. Alan was there with his pal, Vincent. We all hugged and sat down for rounds of beers and a night of laughter. I thought to myself on and off throughout the evening, “This is home. I am home.” At times, nostalgia for the very moment crept into my chest and pushed the water level up to my lower eyelids. It was a cozy, warm night among friends and lovers.

At the end of the night, as we stumbled outside after last call, Alan suggested we do this every Thursday for the rest of our lives. Jeni said yes, of course. Kate was along for the ride. Fred, too. Vincent had left an hour earlier, but no doubt he’d have been drunk enough to make a commitment he’d inevitably forget. It was funny to watch. Everyone seemed to take turns stumbling into the middle of the group saying louder and louder “no, seriously, no seriously, No seriously, No Seriously, NO SERIOUSLY!” then everyone would become sort of dumbstruck and blankly blink their eyes waiting for the next fool in the center to declare that “Seriously, I love you guys. No, I mean, really. Yeah, I know, it’s easy to say, yeah, we’re all drunk, in the morning none of it will mean anything, but I say bullshit! I mean, it doesn’t matter what type of clothes you wear, how old you are, how much money you make, what kind of car you drive, where you were born, whether you like to suck cock or not—”

There was always one wise guy at this point who’d slur “blow me” at just the right moment, as if on cue, and crack everyone else up. Someone would then fall down, still laughing their ass off on the ground, causing most of the people still standing to clutch their bellies and laugh even harder. There was always one drunken yahoo who would become a boorish ass while embracing the mantle of the “Responsible One.” He or she would be the one who would say, as everyone else is laughing, “Hey, what if she’s really hurt? Sally, are you bleeding at all? Maybe you should just lie still for a while? Does anyone here know CPR? You know, just in case? I was in 4-H so I can probably handle anything that comes up.” Huh? 4-H? What the fuck? Oh, well. Anyway, that always seems to happen, but everyone just makes fun of that dolt and keeps on laughing anyway.

I was quite happy that night. Birds randomly flocked to me, tweeting and flitting about my head. Squirrels scampered near my feet, rabbits hopped alongside me, raccoons scurried on ahead of me, lions roared their approval of me, elephants sounded their trumpets whenever my name was spoken, and nubile young virgins from around the world imagined my visage as they masturbated in anticipation of one day handing themselves over to me. Yes, it was a time of joy in my life.