Platitude Romance

I had the time of my life which was just a waste of time. It seemed like it lasted an eternity, but I just lost track of time. In a matter of time I was old as the hills and, yet, fit as a fiddle. I felt like a diamond in the rough without a care in the world. 

She scared me out of my wits, though. I was frightened to death and she was brave as a lion; they say opposites attract. Haste makes waste and I saw the writing on the wall in the nick of time: I was head over heels, but the cat got my tongue. She read between the lines and sent a shiver up my spine: "I love you more than life itself."

As my heart-stopping fear turned into gut-wrenching pain, I replied, "That and a quarter will get you a cup of coffee."

I could feel the quiet before the storm. Aghast, she asked, "Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed?" 

I sighed. "Don't get your knickers in a twist. Rome wasn't built in a day." All that glitters is not gold.

There comes a time in every man's life when saying there comes a time in every man's life is what it is. "Tomorrow is another day and we'll laugh about this soon enough."

She agreed. "It will look better in the morning after a good night's sleep. Time heals all wounds. After all, it could be worse"

That was neither here nor there as far as I was concerned. "If it wasn't meant to be at least the best things in life are free." 

She laughed. "What's done is done and we are where we are."

She knew damn well, though, that what goes around comes around and what goes up must come down. I said, "The more things change the more they stay the same." 

Her response was ponderous. "You can be anything you want to be."

I'd had enough. "Patience is a virtue. I'm sorry that's not what you want to hear, but there are plenty more fish in the sea. Besides, it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all." 

I was surprised to hear her reply: "It doesn't matter whether you win or lose as long as you play the game. If at first you don't succeed, try and try again."

I smiled, pleased and relieved, "Everything always works out in the end because God never gives us more than we can bear. Just think how much worse other people have it."

"We're all in this together; there is no 'I' in team." 

Why would she say that? "With all due respect, teamwork makes the dream work." 

I thought that would silence her, but she shot back, "Work hard, play hard!" 

I said, "No, work smarter, not harder." 

She retorted, "Hard work always pays off."

Ha! Ridiculous. "No offense, but winners never quit and quitters never win." 

She changed tack. "God has a plan for you. Follow your passion."

I could get on board with that, following my bliss and living each moment like it was my last. I finally replied, "Yes, live in the moment because money can't buy happiness. That's just my personal opinion. Let's not reinvent the wheel; this isn't rocket science." I breathed easy and continued to go with the flow. "It's all good."

She slyly put the knife in. "It could be worse. After all, you are what you eat."

Oh, come on! "Think outside the box!" I exclaimed.

She tried to put a positive spin on it. "Take the lemons and make lemonade."

What? I mean, all men are created equal, but only the good die young. I knew this would hurt me more than it hurt her: "It's always darkest just before dawn."

She hung her head. "All's fair in love and war."

I could feel the tide turning. "If you can't stand the heat then get out of the kitchen."

She snapped back, "Be careful what you wish for because with great power comes great responsibility!"

Turns out, you can't judge a book by it's cover. After all, beauty is only skin deep. Begrudgingly, I said, "You're as young as you feel; age is just a number."

A sarcastic laugh and a flippant response: "The road to hell was paved with good intentions." Then she paused, sighing. "Nevertheless, laugh and the world laughs with you."

I took my foot off the gas. "Forgive and forget. What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger."

She nodded. "That's why love means never having to say you're sorry."

"Waste not want not even if it wasn't meant to be." I realized people only regret the things they didn't do. In this case, better late than never.

She became philosophical: "What the mind can conceive, it can achieve." 

I was inexplicably perturbed. "That's for me to know and you to find out!"

But she had the last laugh: "Good things come to those who wait, but nice guys finish last."