Twas the Night before Christmas
And all across the world
Mothers were frightened
Their fingers were curled
Children were locked up
Under their beds
Because Santa was coming
To lop off their heads
Fathers were banging
Nails in the doors
Still they were worried
He'd come through the floors
A fire in the chimney
Might hold him back
But there was no knowing
What he had in his sack
Santa was a devil
They all knew for sure
An evil from which
There was no known cure
He had stolen and raped
Spread disease in his wake
He tortured and murdered
Baked a child in a cake
For mama and papa
No one was worse
What had they done
To deserve such a curse
Later in the evening
And late in the night
Parents were weeping
Overwhelmed by fright
Nothing more could be done
But to wait and wait
Yet all of them feared
That it was too late
Santa would find them
It would be no trouble
He had demons besides
Performing as his double
What had they forgotten
The windows, of course
It was time to board them
Dad hammering with force
Mom and pop became sleepy
As the the hour drew near
Into bed they went
As they had every year
That's when it happened
Santa's sleigh did arrive
Not a creature was stirring
At least none alive
Down the chimney he came
Sitting comfortably in the fire
Laughing to himself
Filling a salacious desire
Through windows came reindeer
The boards couldn't hold
Their antlers too powerful
Made from souls that'd been sold
In the living room they gathered
The elves as well
Santa gave a speech
Send them to Hell!
Through the house they scampered
Looking for a kid
It never mattered
How well they hid
They found them in cupboards
Hiding under the bed
They gathered them together
So Old Nick could be fed
Santa took the children
Eaten one by one
He made the parents watch
Until he was done
To the next house they went
With time standing still
Each child that was eaten
Gave Santa a thrill
The reindeer were provided
A few toes to munch
And for the elves
A liver for lunch
When Santa was done
And the night became morn
Christmas day began
Leaving parents forlorn
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